Editor’s Note: Miles Bennette-Eaton, bartender at CC Slaughters’ Rainbow Room Lounge, served as Just Out’s eyewitness blogger at last night’s sixth installment of Gay Survivor Portland 2009, a 10-week competition fashioned after the network TV mainstay.

Here’s the gnarly rundown…

Halloween quickly approaches, and what better way to celebrate on Survivor island than with a special holiday challenge? The stage is a mess of gaudy second-hand threads and awful fashion accessories, of which our fearless contestants have 2 minutes to collect 8 in order to put together a costume — the best of which wins a fabulous secret prize. Hello, mystery — but wait, there’s a twist.

Before donning their gay apparel, a giant gift box is wheeled out onstage, and what ghastly ghoul could possibly be lurking inside? It’s former cast member Cassie Nova, of course! That’s right, this week we welcome back Gay Survivor’s one and only drag contestant. As an added bonus, she gets full immunity from tonight’s elimination.

Ooh, tension mounts. Our band of players pushes and shoves its way to some semblance of costumes, and after several wobbly walks down the catwalk, Caleb (or is it Kaleb?) is crowned the victor with his bright orange pimp outfit. For all his efforts, he’s awarded an over-sized jungle style Snuggie! That’ll come in handy on those cold, lonely nights in the jungle.

Which brings us to round 2, The Jello Penis Dunk! No, this doesn’t involve anyone dipping their special bits in Jello, but rather shoving their faces in a giant tub of the stuff to bob for dildos. There are 2 different sizes; large ones are worth 1 point and small ones are worth 3 points, with each contestant getting 90 seconds to produce as many Jello soaked phalli as possible. With inspiring shouts of “Get that dick” or “Hey, there’s a penis over here” bellowing from the audience, the Survivors are spurned to shove their heads into the clammy tub of gelatin. Rising to the occasion, James comes out on top with a whopping 20 points, once again proving who on this desert island has the most gaping mouth.

And now the most cutthroat part of the evening, elimination. James and Cassie sit comfortably in their chairs with the knowledge that neither of them will be punted off tonight — James having won immunity in gladiatorial combat, and Cassie, the zombie cast member come back from the dead. Each candidate saunters up to the voting table to cast an opinion of just who should leave the game tonight. And receiving a shocking 5 votes, Peter bids a somewhat fond farewell to his fellow Survivors as his flame is extinguished by a tiny little cock.

Tune in next week to discover what wacky fun is in store for our remaining suckers… I mean, players.

–Miles Bennette-Eaton

(Full disclosure alert: Bennette-Eaton is the boyfriend of Just Out Advertising Director Larry Lewis.) Tune in 9-11 p.m. next Tuesday at CC Slaughters (200 NW Third) for the seventh week of down-and-dirty Survivor action.