You can’t make this stuff up: a corruption investigation in the Vatican has uncovered a gay prostitution ring in which members of an elite Vatican men’s choir were pimped out to a Papal aide.

Angelo Balducci (right) holds the dapper title of Papal Gentleman, or lay aide to the Pope, and is the former chairman of the Holy See’s Public Works Department. According to police, Balducci regularly contacted Chinedu Ehiem Thomas, a singer in St. Peter’s Cappella Giulia, to arrange hookups with young male members of the choir. The Papal Gentleman also enjoyed costly sex with seminarians and undocumented immigrants seeking residency status.

Gay News Watch reports on Balducci’s diverse taste in men:

The scandal now envelops Balducci, a well-known and powerful local figure who is married with two children, who despite all this is said to have taken remarkable risks in setting up sexual liaisons even in Chigi Palace, home of the Italian prime minister, or immediately after a private audience with a cardinal.

In 72 pages of transcribed wiretaps, Ehiem tells Balducci about one possible candidate:  “Angelo … I’ll say no more. Two meters (6-foot-7), 97 kilos (250 lbs.), 33 years-old and completely active (top).”

In later calls, Ehiem [the chorister who arranged the encounters] offered fewer details: “I have a situation in Naples.”

“I have a Cuban situation.”

“I have a German who just arrived from Germany.”

“I have two black guys.”

“I have the soccer player.”

“I have the dancer from RAI,” the Italian TV network.

Some of the young men were seminarians or attended ecclesiastical colleges in Rome. On one occasion, Balducci is heard saying, “He, when does he have to return to the seminary?”

In one wiretap from last December, Renzi is heard explaining the rules of engagement: “You’ll get up to 2,000 euros … Do not touch his balls. You need the money. Put on some music, take out the [inaudible], swallow the Viagra, and adelante!”

Whether the advice in the aforementioned “rules of engagement” becomes ex cathedra dogma, or simply remains prudent advice for young Catholic chorister-slash-hookers, remains to be seen. Until then, Adelante!